I’m strongly of the opinion that the more effective time you put into something, the more you get out of it. It’s interesting that we generally put in a lot of effort into things like our careers, our diets or even our social calendar – but not necessarily effort into growth + love.

The way I see it is that our relationship of love towards ourselves + towards others is one of the key pleasures (+ pains) we have in this life. Most things that are such a big part of our lives, need work. So our relationship of live towards ourselves + towards others, needs work.

Makes sense, right?

So how come we don’t do it? How come we don’t dedicate time to loving ourselves + to expressing love towards those we care about?

I think it’s because we don’t make it a habit. We don’t make it a way of life.

We remember to brush our teeth before bed every night. That’s not because we’re in love with brushing our teeth, but because we made it a habit. We learned it. We know it’s good for us, so we do it.

Our relationship of love towards ourselves + others is a habit. We are doing what we have already learned to do, over + over again. So if you are happy with that – then that’s fantastic. But if you are unconscious performing acts that don’t let love in, then your relationships will stay the same. That’s just how it is.

So what can you do to change your love habits?

I’m always a fan of taking small, incremental steps towards things. Then they become a part of your life gradually, rather than something you force yourself to do that you then don’t stick to. Any plan you stick to is better than one you don’t.

With that in mind, I’m running a free #lovemeloveyou challenge at the moment for February. This is being run in my FREE Bliss-Seekers 2016 facebook group (among other challenges). The idea is simple. Each day you do 1 thing for yourself that expresses love + self care. You also do 1 thing for somebody else that expresses love + care for them.

 

If you’re doing this already – then that’s brilliant. Many of us already are, but we aren’t acknowledging it. We aren’t making it a conscious decision + therefore we are not enjoying the powerful nature of how these behaviours can change our minds + our lives.

You don’t have to join the facebook group if that’s not your thing, although it would be lovely to have you. Simply implement these 2 rules every day + make a note of what you do to make yourself accountable. That’s what we do in the group – share + inspire each other.

Need some inspiration?

10 ways you can express love to yourself:

1. Make sure you leave enough time in your evening / morning one day to get the right amount of sleep
2. Make a cup of your favourite hot drink + just sit quietly + mindfully drinking + enjoying it
3. Do exercise that you LOVE. Even if that means splashing out a little to make it happen.
4. Write yourself a love letter to read when you feel low.
5. Practice lovingkindness meditation. Imagine sending loving energy towards yourself.
6. Wear clothes that make you feel good
7. Take a break from your work
8. Give yourself a 1 day mini-retreat + book in lots of fun or calming activities that you want to do on that day
9. Book in a massage
10. Put yourself first for 1 hour + see what happens

10 ways you can express love to another:

1. Text a friend a message about how much you love them
2. Write a friend or family member a snail mail surprise in the post
3. Arrange to see somebody you love that you haven’t in a while
4. Read The Five Love Languages and work out what the love languages of the people around you are
5. Show somebody else this blog post + encourage them to take part
6. Buy somebody you love a gift just because
7. Help a random stranger today
8. Give away things you don’t need to charity shops or good causes
9. Cuddle
10. Do only things the other person wants to do for a whole day

If you want to delve deeper then join the Bliss-Seekers group for free. You can also take it to the next level and gain access to Blissful Life Yoga where there’s a specific yoga set + audio meditation focused around self-love + relationships.

Commit now to changing your love habits. I’d love to hear from you how these go.