This is the question on my mind as 1st September rolls around with FRIENDSHIPS  as our theme in the Happiness Library and my free Bliss-Seekers group.

It’s an interesting way to pose the question as it retains the accountability with us and sets us free from the trap of expectations.

Expectation hangovers

Do you ever catch yourself wishing people in your life were different? If only that person would be more x or y then things would be better. Right? That’s what I’d call an expectation hangover. We let our expectations too closely dictate our relationships with others. Much like a real hangover, over-indulging your expectations can leave you in a bad place. It’s normal for us to have some, but we can often over-indulge in these and then be massively disappointed and “hungover” with them. We miss the opportunity to be grateful for the positive elements of the friendships we have.

Perhaps you go the other way and people-please, depleting your own energy reserves in order to make others like you. Sacrificing ourselves in order to get others to like us is not being a better friend. We can act from a place of genuine consideration and care for others, while still having strong boundaries of self-care. A friend is a person with whom one has a bond of mutual affection. The key word being mutual. Balanced.

Taking action

This month in the Bliss-Seeker’s group we are going to be asking ourselves the question – what can I do to be a better friend today? Each day we’ll be actively seeking  change or action we can take to be a better friend.

We’ll use the group as a sacred space in which to support each other through this process. As a serial people-pleaser, we’ll call you out on it gently and support you. If you struggle with empathy or finding ways to be kind to others, we’ll help you there too.

If you want to feel more positive about your relationships with friends and potential friends, then join the group this month and join the challenge. All you have to do is show up. The rest will happen.